A few weeks ago I hit a rather aggressive situation that I knew immediately I had dealt with wrong. Finding out my ‘best friend’ was the route of all things wrong as good as floored me. Through this friendship I had received a lot of help and support, encouragement and butt-kicking when I need it, yet at the same time this person was Jeckyl and Hyde to my expense.
When the truth came out I reacted in my typical way. I shouted, I got angry and I released all fury on this person. Being called a liar never goes down well with me, I am not proud to admit that when I am accused of this I can go flash to bang in zero seconds. I just abhor lies/liars. When I also find out that this person instigated so many negative situations then claimed to be the victim I would stand up for them, lose friends over them and even though I had a nagging feeling I still relied on the side of this person that they portrayed to the ‘world’.
Im not too sure who the fool is here, them or me. But I am not happy with how I acted.
Subsequently it all shook my being. I questioned every person who spoke to me, I doubted everyone. One day I found I even doubted God. That is not my style as a rule but I did.
Now, a few weeks on I have had a journey to take, one which has had me in pieces. Not for this person but for the damage they caused, knowing they will never own up to the lies, the deceit and/or the responsibility they have in it all yet will happily and readily relay my personal information with half truths and a judgement that changes according to who they’re talking to and what they have to gain from it.
As the weeks have rolled by I have put this person aside, I no longer get angry or cringe at the sound of their name, I no longer feel the need to defend them or make excuses for them, but at the same time I have no desire to speak of them in any way at all. They are nothing to me anymore. Just another person on the planet with the rest of us. I see them for who they are, it is their judgement call not mine. The promises I made through that friendship will be honoured by the same agreement as they were made, but that is because I realise I have the more integrity.
Cos when all is said and done, the truth is the truth.
Debs
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