...doesn’t mean it can’t hurt you. It can. It will. It does.
Today I set off at silly o’clock to go and babysit my youngest granddaughter for the day in Bournemouth. We, Kirsten, Charley and I were very excited even though we’d only have a little time with Bailey, my oldest granddaughter before and after her playgroup trip. Something is better than nothing, right?
So it began like this:
6am - alarm goes off
6.30- i jump up, having dozed off again, we should be out by now
6.40- after figuring out that the satnav is taking me to Jay & Tara’s old address up north I reset it to the new one, down south. drat!
8.10- car chugs
8.13- electrics flash on and off and car loses all power
8.14- pull into the hard shoulder the car has died
At this point I panic. For the first time in over 20 years of driving I hadn’t added the breakdown/recovery to my insurance and I have never used AA or RAC as an independant cover, it just never occurred to me. So here I am, two kids staring at me intently waiting for my reaction and I’m blank. Who can I call? What can I do? I called the RAC, AA and Green Flag, their call out was a whole lot more than I had in my account. I called my mom, no answer. There was no-one else. Having no choice I called the police and asked for their advice. The guy was really helpful and said someone will come out to me and assist me more.
The relief overcome me to tears. I was frustrated that I am not in a place to have been able to deal with this effectively on my own. The last 16 months has been a step forward, 3 back and while life is a whole lot better I am still struggling to do all the things I have to do much less what I want to do.
The police stop by, a wpc who is very nice, friendly and helpful. Then she drops a bombshell that I almost collapsed from.
“You have no car insurance, do you?”
My jaw drops. What? No! Yes! I know I do because last month the insurance company took 3 payments instead of one and my bank refunded me two of them. I racked my brain, I can’t argue with a police officer yet how can I prove I am being honest when I have no paperwork on me. WPC Paull takes my details and gets confirmation of me via DVLA. When that’s done she says calmly
“Don’t worry, let me help you sort that out first then we’ll sort out moving the car”
Not being used to police attention I take this as a positive.
Ten minutes later, with rain lashing down I am sat in the back of the police car explaining the bank issue and thats how I know I have insurance. It’s due again this Friday. She goes on to tell me that any kind of hiccup with the insurance they cancel it and don’t always write or email to let the policy holder know. At this point I am fighting and losing against the tears. I’ve never been in this or any similar situation. I have a clean licence, I respect it and I don’t take it lightly.
WPC Paull confirms my last payment with Kwik Fit, she also confirms the reimbursed payments and reassures me that the proof I have is innocent and the fault of the company. However, because she has been sent out to me rather than just stopping by randomly she has to account for the call out and therefore she must impound my car and inform the courts.
My heart stops. I am near Bristol and have 2 kids with me. No-one to call on and I’m about to lose my car to who knows how much for the repair and recovery. The thought of court, fine, points really does bother me, I feel like a cheap criminal. I try not to get too emotional in front of the officer, I don’t want to appear even more stupid. While she was doing paperwork she was asking questions about my former address. Oh goodness, this is where I sound like a down and out loser. I admit I was in a homeless situation for 8 months and therefore my last insurance policy has the address of my former home in the forest of dean. Then she asks why I lost the house. I tell her and she looks at me, mouth gaping open.
“Oh my, you are really having a sh*t time of it aren’t you?”
I nod and feign a smile. What else can I do?
She reaches for a tissue and wipes her eyes. “I’m sorry” she said “Sometimes I come across people who are struggling so much and I want to help them”
She touches my heart and I assure her that at some point it will get better. She looks at me again and says “Why are you doing it all alone?”
I have no answer. I have great friends who are supportive, encouraging and keep me going. The people I trust most are far away, not a drive away, not round the corner, not across town. Here, I am alone. I cannot perform to a standard that is ‘expected’ of me right now and therefore that disqualifies me of be cared about or helped. Heck, I didn’t qualify when I did conform.
WPC Paull explained what had to happen next. The car would go to a garage in Bristol and they would contact me when they’ve checked it over. I have 7 days to get new insurance and produce all my documents to Bridgwater Police Station, they will stamp the ticket and then I have a further 7 days to pay for and collect the car, including recovery costs and daily charges from Bristol. In the meatime, I am to expect a summons from the court for driving with no insurance. She advised me to not accept guilt but to request a hearing in court, she will attend and is happy to stand on my behalf that I was compliant, forthcoming with information and she feels I am being truthful. Sadly I will get approx. 6 points for this if I am found guilty and I will get a fine.
If I’m honest I don’t expect to be found not guilty. Even with the proof I have.
Seeing the car being loaded up, we were promptly taken to Parkway train station in Bristol. The officer chatted to Charley and we laughed and joked. When we got out the car she hugged me and said “ hey, this is not the worst that could happen, you will get through this and if I see you again I want it to be for other reasons that are good” I thanked her for being so assuring to me and set off to figure out the train journey home.
I should have just stayed home.
The tickets were £26 for all three of us to get back to Bridgwater, one change over at Bristol Mead. Ok we can do that.
Charley loved it. He doesn’t remember the steam train rides he’s been on before so this was new for him. I tried hard to not cry in front of the kids but I failed. Charley dozed off at one point and Kirsten looked ashen. My heart ached for them. How their lives are so limited and tight. Why did they choose me to be their Mom? They deserve so much more, better, but they are lumped with me.
This is not the worst that could happen and I will figure it out somehow, but for me its one more thing that tells me how much of a failure I am, how unprepared I a in life. No matter how much joking or positive thinking, no matter how much I focus on the scriptures or my prayers I still find hurdles I am not tall enough or strong enough to get over.
Laying on my bed earlier I doze off to sleep with one feeling in my heart:
‘ God has forgotten where I am ‘
No comments:
Post a Comment