Returning to active service

You could have knocked me down with a feather when my 15 year old daughter declared that she’d like to come back to church.

Rewind.

This Easter holiday has been all about our family. My oldest son became a dad for the second time, I had the huge blessing of being present at the birth of Lillie-Mai and spent all the time I could with #1 grand daughter, Bailey.

yep, she has the longest tongue!

she knows how to do the cheesiest grins!

It was great to just relax with the girls, Jay and Tara. Kirsten was in her element being the Auntie who spoilt her nieces.  Most definitely the best family time.

On our leaving Kirsten decided she’d like to go to her nan’s for a few days/week so I headed from south to north to honour he wishes. {Yeah I’m good like that!} Over the next few days I pottered about in the house, spent some time with Steffan {the guy I’m dating now} and played water bombs with the kids in the street.

All pretty normal right? Not for long, the usual texts came:

‘Mom! Why do I get a dad who is just so rude and offensive?’
’What happened darling?’
’I went to give him a hug and he told me to get off’
’Well, was he busy or something?’
’Nope, he was stood in the doorway, he’s just got here with Donna and the kids’
’Maybe he was joking?’
’Well I don’t think thats funny, do you?’

This is just a typical event between them, for 5 years they have struggled. She wants his attention, he doesn’t bother with her. I’ve talked, text and even wrote a letter to him to get him to understand the effects of the broken down relation on her. No response.

Kirsten used to be the popular girl in the class/group. She was the one that would put an arm round someone upset or feeling sad. She would dance in the playground and sing all the Gareth Gates songs whilst doing homework. She was an above average student with friends, social activities and oozing with charm.

Then it disappeared. Almost like a light going off and both hers and my life changed. Drastically.

So the strong minded, determined tween turned into a stronger and more determined teen. Struggled with more things that I could name yet still had that something inside her that let me know the real Kirsten was really there. I always hoped and prayed that she would find her way through this sooner rather than later. However, I never expected her to decide to cut her father out of her life. At almost 16 she’s settled now, doing exceptionally well at school and has already gained some qualifications ready for her college course in September.

By the time her father dropped her home many other things had happened, it wouldn’t be right for me to list them but there were quite severe…and having listened on the phone I was totally shocked at what I was hearing and by whom. This was not the man I had a child with all those years ago, I didn’t even know this person anymore. No wonder she walked away.

So now I’m faced with standing in the middle of two big decisions of her life:

1. No father ~ I don’t wholly agree with this so we talked about the pros and cons of cutting him out of her life verses seeing him less often. She’s made up her mind so I have to support her.
2. Return to church ~ When asked she said it was a happier time in her life when she was going to church, she recognised the differences of being worldly and being in the world. She’s an amazing person and I love how she always figures things out for herself.

So now I am unsure how to do this. My biggest concern at this point is her return to church. While she’s always been around prayers, FHE and such and she’s always took part she has always left the room when we got the scriptures out. Now she reads them. I’ve never done this before so there's a part of me that knows how to go at her pace but there’s another part of me that is worried that she will find it all too much. My prayers will be answered though, the spirit will guide me, I just wish I had a little more confidence in this teenage girl thing!

For now it looks like my daughter is making another turn in life, I am shaky because if it fails it will break her….yet if it doesn’t I will have worried for nothing! Bring on the latter, please!

Debs